It has been five
days since he last sent me a text message. My fingers were itching to type
another message but I knew it wasn’t the best course of action. I have always
been the first one to send the first message, to call, and to apologize—even if
it wasn’t my fault. I tried to keep my mind clear of anything that involved
him.
I stared at
the blank page before me. I couldn’t think of a good way to start my new story.
I haven’t heard anything from the publishing house, where I sent one of my
novels, and the only thing I could think of that would distract me was to write
a new story.
When you realize your worth, you find it
hard to be with people who don’t.
Just as I was about to type more words, my phone rang. I almost fell off
of my chair, thinking it was the publishing house. I was wrong. It was just my
sister.
“Demi! Mom sold your remaining books!”
“What? I
said I was going to get the rest this weekend? Can’t she wait? Is she really
that excited to turn my old room into a sewing room?” I grunted. I had about fifteen
books left in the house and my mom just had to sell those.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop her, Dem.”
I sighed. “It’s
okay. Thanks for telling me though.”
I wanted to
throw my phone across the room but that would be a stupid move and I couldn’t
afford to buy a new one. I looked at the monitor. I only had one line typed in
and yet I already felt like punching a wall.
Ignoring the
fact that my mother sold my books, I continued to type my new story. I was in
the middle of the third chapter when my phone rang.
When I
opened my phone, the digital clock was huge enough to remind me that I have
been sitting in front of my computer for almost four hours. Also, the number of
the publishing house was calling.
The phone
call felt like it took hours, but it was just a few minutes. It wouldn’t take hours
for them to tell me that my novel was rejected. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping
that when I open my eyes, everything that happened was just a dream. Of course
when I opened my eyes, nothing has changed.
My phone
beeped again. It was my boyfriend.
Dave: I’m sorry for not
texting. I have been thinking and I think it’s better if we end it.
My jaw almost dropped. That was it? He wouldn’t even tell me the main
reason? I called him, hoping to get an explanation, but we couldn’t have
everything we want.
“What was
that about, Dave? You were out of the radar for almost a week and now you’re
dropping this on me?” I figured that my voice was booming at the other end, but
I really didn’t care.
“I’m sorry. I have to go, Demi.” Then he
hung up.
My heart was
pounding. I wanted to flip the table, scream, and then fade. As much as I
wanted to continue typing my story, I couldn’t.
My mother
sold my books. The fourth publishing house, where I sent my manuscript to,
rejected my novel. My boyfriend dumped me with no proper explanation, and I
doubt I would get one.
I pulled out
the USB from my drawer and plugged it in my computer. I opened the playlist and
the speakers boomed sad songs. I sat on the floor and cried for hours. It probably
seemed stupid for some but not for me.
As much as I
wanted to drown myself in alcohol or make myself bleed, I just had to remind
myself of what was happening.
It’s just a
bad day, not a bad life.
Allie naman eh! Kainis ka! Hahaha.. Pero thnk u for ths story!.. Sana nxt time, if meron, hndi nman ako ung kaawa-awa.. Sira na beauty ko.. Haha.. I like the thought in the end! Makes u realize to keep moving forward until something good happens. It's not the end of the world
ReplyDeleteSorry naman sis. Mahilig ako sa mga ganyan, yung kinakawawa lahat. Joke. :3 We'll see.
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