When things pass in a blur, it’s too hard to think straight. There are certain things that seem to appear then fade off.
When you lose someone important to you? What will you do? Will you stay like the saint everyone thinks you are or will you bend some rules in life just to be fair?
I am never sure what kind of person I am. What kind of person am I? My best friend, William, said I am a saint—because I can’t hurt even the smallest creature crawling on the surface of this damn world. Am I really that kind or that’s just an act to cover up the dark side of me?
A bright smile appeared on my face as my best friend walked towards me. There’s something about him that makes me so attracted to him—I don’t know what it is but I don’t mind.
What if everything we’re seeing is just a dream? Or what if it just an illusion?
Would we be able to know what to believe in?
Everything started to become blurry. My best friend in front of me disappeared and everything turned black. It was pitch black and I can’t see what’s going on but I know that it’s something I would never wish to see. I can hear screams everywhere and fear crept in to every part of my body.
Bright light appeared. When my eyes adjusted, I was in a white room, all alone. I looked around, I am alone. My eyes widened when I looked down on my hands—my bloody hands, literally. Beside me was a knife covered with blood. Warm tears started to stream down my cheeks. I looked up and once again, looked around the room. I wasn’t alone anymore. Bodies were everywhere! No, not just bodies—they were my family and my friends’. I stood up and ran towards the mirror at the end of the white room. I looked at my own reflection—I was covered with blood, my family and my friends’ blood. I killed them. No! It can’t be!
Along with my terrified scream were my eyes fluttering open and my heart started to beat faster. It was a dream. It was just a dream—a bad dream—a nightmare that will never ever happen.
“Keane! Get ready! Come on! Faster! Grandma’s waiting for us!”
I prepared quickly than usual with my hands trembling with fear. Thoughts didn’t flooded my mind like usual—I was scared about my dream, my terrifying dream.
When I went down to the kitchen, I yelped at the sight of the knife on the kitchen counter. I remembered the knife beside me in my dream. I really have to forget all those terrifying things I saw. Those weren’t true. Those were just part of a nightmare that will never happen in reality.
“Keane, what happened to you?” my mom asked.
I shook my head ‘no’ and headed to the living room. When everyone got prepared, we piled in the van with my father driving. Music started to fill the atmosphere and I stare outside the window, still bothered with the whole dream issue.
I was lost, staring at the window and trying to block the thought of my dream but it’s truly annoying that it can find its way back and even occupied my whole brain. I closed my eyes and forced myself to forget that nightmare. Breathe in, breathe out—and my eyes opened immediately when I heard my phone ringing.
I answered it and the message that was said to me made me stare back at the window as tears streamed down my face. I pressed my lips together and let the tears flow continuously. Silence filled the whole van but was broken immediately.
“What’s the problem Keane?” my sister asked.
I shook my head, not wanting to answer—not because I am afraid of the news, well partly, yes but that’s not just it. If I open my mouth, I know that the answer won’t be what they’ll hear but a scream of pain, anger, and sadness.
“Keane, tell us.” My sister said.
My blood turned from warm to cold. My heart started to feel numb and my mask started to melt—I am not a saint anymore. It’s time for everyone to see my dark side.
“William is dead!” I exclaimed through my clenched teeth.
Their expressions were priceless. They know William and treated him like a relative and to me, he is like a brother and now he’s gone.
I could accept it if he died because he has some sort of deadly disease but being killed, now that’s a whole new story.
“Let’s go back to the house!” I exclaimed.
Without further arguments, my dad started driving back. He killed my best friend, I’ll kill him too. Fair enough. I wiped the tears with my handkerchief.
When we arrived home, I ran to my room and quickly dragged the duffel bag under my bed. A grin spread across my lips upon seeing the weapons inside. I pulled my hair back in a bun and exchanged my purple shirt to a black one—wouldn’t want bloodstains to be too obvious.
I pulled the duffel bag and hurried back to the van.
“East St. Now!” I exclaimed.
My sisters and my mother looked at me like I am some stranger. I couldn’t blame them; I have been acting so bizarre after that phone call.
I felt like a machine programmed to do a certain command. When we arrived, I carried the duffel bag and ran farther.
Mixed emotions—that was what I was feeling. Anger because of what they have done. Happy because I had a chance to be fair. Sad because it can’t erase the fact that the person who can understand me perfectly is dead.
Right in front me, stood a man in black coat and a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes.
“Afraid to show your evil eyes, Felix?” I asked with a grin.
He took it off and grinned. The look on his face made me even madder. His face made me want to kick him—that’s what I need.
I pulled out a gun from the duffel bag and aimed at him.
“I didn’t expect that the news about William’s death will reach you earlier. I was hoping for a week or a couple of days.” He said teasingly.
“You are the biggest idiot in town. Of course I’ll know that news immediately. I am his best friend.” I said.
The gun suddenly felt cold in my grip. I haven’t used a gun for ages and I hope that I still can shoot perfectly or else I’m toast.
“So, what do you got there young lady?” he asked.
“A water gun or a laser gun? Typical kid toys.” He added up.
I smirked and placed my index finger softly next to the trigger.
“It’s a real gun you dolt. Move closer and I swear, you’re dead.” I said then smirked.
“You can’t really kill me, can you?” he asked then followed by a chuckle.
I quickly pulled my leather case full of throwing stars and I clipped it on my belt. I grabbed one and threw it at him. Unfortunately, getting your arm scraped a little won’t kill you.
“Is that all you got, sweetie?” he asked then pulled his trigger.
I got shot perfectly on my left arm. How fortunate of me. I probably look like a complete idiot, fighting with a guy who is older than me for about nineteen years.
I pulled three throwing stars and threw it at him. It was the start of nice aims! The first throwing star hit his right arm, the second hit his right leg and the third one was the reason why his right ear was bleeding. I pressed the trigger and shot his right arm again. Blood started to flow but it wasn’t too obvious with that black coat he was wearing.
“Oh wait, it isn’t a toy.” I teased then grinned.
Killing him slowly is better that killing him in a snap. I want him to feel pain.
“You can’t kill me.” He said.
“Oh yes I can!” I answered then pressed the trigger once again, aiming at his heart.
“Ahh!” That was my scream.
I looked around and I was sitting on the van. My sisters and mother looked at me confusedly.
“Why am I here?” I exclaimed.
I noticed that my shirt is purple once again and the duffel bag is nowhere near me. Had they found out the craziness that flooded my mind and now they will send me to somewhere far where I can’t hurt anyone?
“Where’s William?” I exclaimed.
The van’s door was opened and a smiling William was right in front of me.
“B-But you’re supposed to be dead.” I said, tears forming at the corner of my eyes.
“Keane, I know that you hate me but that’s too rude.” He said then laughed.
My eyes can’t believe what I saw. He was alive. I held his hand and it was warm and pretty much alive.
We arrived at grandma’s house already and it was all a dream—another dream that bothers me.
“Why do you think I was dead?” he asked.
“It was a dream, Will. It’s a stupid dream.” I said, trying to sound calm.
I looked at him and I knew deep inside that there’s something bothering him. The look on his face explained it all.
“What is it?” I asked.
He looked at me and those dark eyes stared at me like he was about to cry.
“The past few days, I had been receiving death threats and creepy stuffs.” He said with a frown.
“W-What? Why didn’t you tell—“ before I could even finish asking, blood flowed out of his lips and he fell on the ground face-first with a knife stabbed on his back.
Along with my scream were my eyes fluttering open and I found myself sitting inside the van.
I don’t know what to believe in now. It became hard for me to know what’s real and what’s not. Everything seems to be illusions and I can’t recognize what’s reality anymore. Can I even separate illusions from reality? From all the pain and brutality that I saw, I don’t know what else to believe. It became harder every time I close my eyes and doze off.
Suddenly, I fear a lot of things. Worst, I fear sleeping because it’s the key to open another door of a cold and cruel world for me to face.