(It's a continuation of A Little Too Late)
I thought dating my best friend would be a walk in the park but I was wrong. So wrong that it ended so bad.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ron exclaimed.
“Nothing will be wrong if you would just stop doubting me.” I said calmly. He ran his fingers through his hair before he looked at me.
“If you would stop giving me reasons to doubt you, that would be great.” He said through gritted teeth.
“That’s a polite way of telling me that we should end this.” I said.
“I didn’t say that.” He said. The anger in his eyes melted and turned to fear. He knows how calm I am but when I decide, it’s final.
“I’m not giving you reasons to doubt me. You just see everything as a sign of unfaithfulness. You always think that I am not faithful. Thank you for trusting me with this, Ron.” I said. I didn’t want to say it but someone has to do it. Our relationship wasn’t working at all. He never trusted me. He still thinks I am in love with Jonathan when in fact, I am not.
“Let’s just end this. Let’s just go back to being best friends.” I added. He turned on his heels and left. I couldn’t blame him. It must have been painful but it was for me, too. As much as I wanted to cry and to be fragile, I chose not to be.
Addison: How are you?
Jonathan: Fine. You?
Addison: That’s good.
Jonathan: How are you and Ron?
That was the question I never wanted to be asked. Not now. Jonathan has a new girlfriend and they are happy. I didn’t want to infect him with my sadness because my boyfriend and I broke up.
Addison: What are you up to?
Jonathan: Okay. What’s wrong?
Addison: We broke up. It’s nothing.
Addison: Yuh. :D
The next days after the break up wasn’t any better. I was still listening to sad songs but Jonathan was trying his best to cheer me up.
Jonathan: I never stopped loving you.
Addison: I stopped or maybe I just pushed it aside.
Jonathan: You mean, you still love me?
Jonathan: That’s good to know. I love you.
My world was horrible that I just had to feel better and forcing myself to love Jonathan again was my solution. It is stupid but it was the only thing I could think of at the very moment.
Addison: Do you have any idea how much I wanted to ignore you before? I mean, you had a girlfriend and I didn’t want a mess so I decided to ignore you but as you can see, I never did it. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I love you that much.
Obviously, it wasn’t the best way to tell someone you love them. I ruined it again.
Jonathan: You’re right. We should stop doing this. I have a girlfriend. I’ll refrain from telling you how much I love you.
Jonathan: I have to go. I’m tired.
Addison: Oh okay.
No Ron. No Jonathan. There was just me, myself, and I. I did the right thing with Jonathan. I just don’t know if I did the right thing to Ron. It seemed wrong in some angles but it felt like the right thing to do.
I went to Ellaine’s place a week after. She is my closest friend next to Ron. She prepared a slice of my favorite cake—chocolate mousse—and one gallon of my favorite ice cream flavor—mint choco-chip.
“You are obviously avoiding him.” She said. I told her about what happened with Jonathan.
“I am not.” I said.
“Then why haven’t you guys talked after that?” she asked, scooping more ice cream.
“Timezone.” I simply answered as I finished my slice of chocolate mousse.
“Yeah right. You worked through it before.” She said before shoving a huge spoonful of ice cream.
“He told me that we need to stop the illusion of having an ‘US’” I said, filling my mouth with ice cream.
“So you are ignoring him?” she asked. I rolled my eyes and swallowed the huge amount of ice cream I shoved in my mouth before answering her.
“I am not ignoring him nor avoiding him. I’m just not making an effort anymore. He wants to move on? Fine. We’re friends. When we get the chance to talk, we will. But I won’t wake up early or stay up late just to talk to him. I won’t make an effort just to talk to him.”
“Ignoring.” She muttered.
“Not ignoring. I’m doing what I was supposed to when it was still early.” I said.
“Whatevs.” She said. I laughed softly.
I was honest. I wasn’t going to make an effort. He wanted it and I was fine with it. There was no more story to tell.
It’s the end.